by Ileana Dragutsa
You play the piano and your dog wags his tail like a metronome; in rhythm to, is it Chopin’s Polanaise? or simply, Chopstix? Perhaps a little “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy?”
I am sadly envious.
Would that I could, but I won’t because I can’t. I was not allowed to learn a musical instrument, in spite of pleading and crying. Sobbing uncontrollably for want of music fell upon deaf ears. I was gifted with a musical ear, a voice to carry notes and words; the gift to put notes and words together and entertain my mother at her request.….
And rhythm to learn all the latest dance steps….. There was none better… I was the best, yet deprived of one simple love…. “Please, please, please, dad, let me take piano lessons… it is free. My music teacher is giving free lessons to anyone in the class who would like to learn an instrument…. FREE….FREE….FREE…”
My mother begged him, on my behalf.
The response was “No, I did not learn any damn music, and there is nothing wrong with me.”
Her hands were tied because of the unfortunate circumstances in our family… but that is another story. And so I continued to serenade my friends and my mother…. She was so sad for me, but as I said, her hands were tied. She could only stand by and weep along with her eleven year old daughter…..
I wish my father was a loving and giving man, such as you enjoyed. There is nothing I would enjoy more than to play “Duelling Pianos” …
But yes, Ladies and Gents, as far as I was concerned, there was plenty wrong with him…. He was the most mean spirited human on the face of the earth…. He did not do it, therefore he deprived his children of their desires and interests. He could not respond unless it was negative.
So I sang as best I could, and even that was taken from me… I was in the school choir, because I could sing soprano, or alto…. until it was time to appear at the local Arena to sing competitively….It was time to leave the house to appear at the arena….. “NO, I never sang in any school choir, there is no reason why you should.” My heart was broken. I ran away from home and stayed under the porch overnight, and all the next day. What was I going to tell my music teacher? What was a good reason for staying out all night? I knew my mother was worried sick. From under the porch I watched the father drive away to his work. That was when I decided to become the family rebel….. until hunger overcame me. When finally I could stand it no longer, I emerged from under the porch, face tear stained and dirty, eyes swollen, and clothes filthy with sand and cobwebs, and quietly moved into the back kitchen where my mother was cooking the day’s meals.
Mothers must have eyes in the back of their heads; she continued stirring her tasty creation. Without turning her head she asked. “Are you hungry?” “Yes Mamma.” “Go have a bath, and then come back for your breakfast. I suppose I had better cook enough food for you to make up for the three meals you missed yesterday. Do you think you can eat three meals this morning?” Her question made me laugh; She hugged me and then I cried again. Through her own tears she whispered… “I am sorry it has to be like this for you; just remember you will always be my daughter and I love your music I wish it could be different.”
I had a long bath, and then enjoyed a lovingly prepared meal, with home made bread….. no not three…..
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