I want to smoke an impossibly cool cigarette
I want to breathe sophistication into my lungs
I want to suck in poison that will
destroy my goodness
my empathy
my weakness
my innocence
infect me with the cancer of apathy
with glorious arrogance
with ugly black truth
I want to light this cigarette
and savor the flavor of my downfall,
my undoing
and as I smoke it,
I will grow thinner
and thinner
flesh will fade away
until I’m size zero
and my impossibly thin face
is the color of ash
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